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BOA ACTION: Motion to amend to reinstate the sentence “This provision shall also apply to a minister whose spouse has been divorced from a mate who still lives.” From being stricken passed unanimously. Motion to approve the resolution as amended.
GCRCC Status: forwarded for April 2011 BOA action
Introduced by: David Kendall
Written by: Study Commission on Doctrine
Related to Paragraph(s) #: 3311
Whereas:
WHEREAS, God’s creative intent is for monogamous, life-long marriage, but we live in a world where God’s creative intent is often not experienced and where all of us share in some level of human and relational brokenness, and
WHEREAS, divorce is a part of that brokenness and, under any circumstance, falls short of God’s intent for men and women, and
WHEREAS, both Jesus’ and the Apostle Paul’s words (Matt. 19:3-9, with parallels, and 1 Cor. 7:10-16) are responses to specific questions in the first century context, and
WHEREAS, these passages were not intended to provide loopholes out of marriage then (first century BC), or to bring possible lifelong condemnation of a remarriage for those who have divorced apart from so-called biblical “grounds” for divorce, and
WHEREAS, Jesus cites the most basic reason for divorce as “hardness of heart,” i.e., stubborn refusal to repent or perhaps even conditioned incapacity to repent by one or both parties, and
WHEREAS, such hardness of heart may cause marriage vows to be broken and the marriage bond to be irreparably damaged, and
WHEREAS, divorce in the biblical record and in our present culture is basically the legal recognition of the brokenness and damage that has already ended the marital relationship, and
WHEREAS, the resources of the church should be used to foster the health of marriage, and
WHERAS, when a marriage fails, the church’s primary goal should be to foster restoration of the persons involved to wholeness of life, and
WHEREAS, while some will not remarry and should be supported in being single and whole persons, and some will desire to enter into marriage again but should be encouraged to marry only after a time of restoration in the context of Christian community, such restoration including:
- confession of the failures and sins which led to the failed marriage;
- a process of healing of the hurts entailed in that failed marriage with such restoration of relational brokenness as is possible and appropriate;
- spiritual and emotional growth leading to greater maturity and readiness for marriage, and
- counseling or spiritual direction toward all of these ends, and
WHEREAS, the church should respond to human sin and brokenness, including martial, in the spirit and after the example of Jesus,
Therefore, be it resolved:
That the present paragraphs 3311 C-F regarding Divorce, Recovery After Divorce, Remarriage After a Divorce, and Refusal of Counsel be replaced by the following sections:
C. Healing Troubled Marriages
Human sin and rebellion against God always threatens marriages. Sin in the Garden brought a change to the way marriage partners related to each other, with profound consequences for a couple’s experience of God’s plan for marital oneness (Gen. 3:16b). Early in the biblical story the practice of polygamy and spousal abuse became common. Sadly, a constant feature of the story has been the hardening of heart that may lead to broken vows, marriages, and homes.
The prophets describe God’s relationship with Israel against the backdrop of common marital brokenness. God pursues his unfaithful people as a husband who refuses to abandon his adulterous wife. Indeed, the steadfast love of Israel’s God claims and wins at last a remnant of his rebellious people (Hosea 1—3; Ezekiel 16). In the fullness of time, Jesus the Messiah brings to full expression this steadfast love of the Lord. That love made real in Jesus and his followers becomes the prototype of marital love in the teachings of the Apostle Paul (Eph. 5:22—33).
Therefore, the church as the Body and Bride of Christ has spiritual resources for marriages in trouble. Through the renewing power of the Holy Spirit, the Holy Scriptures, the Sacraments, and the mutual support of God’s people, God brings healing, reconciliation, and oneness to willing marriage partners. We encourage our members to avail themselves of these rich and powerful resources whenever a marriage relationship is strained. In some cases, pastoral and professional, Christ-centered counsel should be sought.
As in the biblical story, domestic violence, emotional assault, and physical abuse sometime occur in the homes of our people. Such sin jeopardizes the safety of spouse and children and may threaten their very lives. These family members need the special care of the church family for spiritual and emotional protection and healing.
The church recognizes all abusive behavior as sin and destructive to the home and its members. Often in these cases separation is necessary to halt the abuse and allow space for the healing of persons and their relationships. Even when the marriage and home has experienced the most grievous violation, however, we insist that God’s grace can bring healing. Therefore, we counsel our members to seek the fullest measure of healing and reconciliation possible in every situation.
D. Divorce
Although God intends and wills that marriage vows be honored for life, some marriages fail even within the fellowship of God’s people. When marriages fail and partners divorce they have violated God’s intention for marriage and often one or both have violated their vows to love and cherish the other. Such violations, whatever their reason, constitute rebellion against God’s plan for their lives and results in personal brokenness. After a divorce both partners need the healing that comes only from repentance and renewed faith in God. The church must stand ready to be agents of this healing work in their lives.
A divorce may result from a variety of sinful acts, attitudes, and responses. Sexual infidelity, abandonment, and patterns of abusive behavior that threaten spouse and children are the most commonly identified sins destructive of marriages. Other sins, however, also sometimes lead to divorce such as selfishness, anger, fear, obsessive preoccupation, and careless neglect. The hardness of heart that drives partners to divorce may trace back to many different manifestations of sin.
When questioned about marriage and divorce, Jesus stressed three principles. First, he cites the intent from the beginning that no marriage would fail. Second, he identifies “hardness of heart” as the ultimate marriage killer— because either it causes destructive behavior or refuses the grace that can heal and reconcile. And, third, he refuses to support the common assumption that in some cases one partner has a right (i.e., enjoys freedom) simply to walk away. Whatever the particulars, Jesus offered grace that heals and empowered people to live according to God’s plan—to move from their sin to a life that pleases God.
E. Aftercare, Remarriage, Singleness
When a marriage fails, the church seeks to restore people from the trauma of their divorce by inviting its members into a process of restoration (see paragraphs 7110—7130). Godly counsel will help people understand what happened in their marriage: specifically, where they contributed to the failure and how they have been wounded by it. Sinful relational patterns will be exposed, forsaken, and replaced with Spirit-directed and Christ-centered patterns. The damage to children, the larger families, and their witness to Christ will also be acknowledged and where possible restitution will be made.
Persons who have suffered the trauma of divorce must exercise extreme caution when considering remarriage. Unless they have experienced healing and restoration from their failure in marriage they will likely fail again. In some cases, wisdom will insist upon remaining single and free to live in devotion only to Christ.
One who has been divorced shall not by that fact alone be denied the privileges and responsibilities of a future marriage in the Lord. The grace that brings correction, conviction, repentance, faith, healing, and restoration can make all things new, even for a Christian whose sin may have broken a marriage. When grace restores the brother or sister who has failed, the plan God has for human well-being reopens, even the possibility of remarriage.
G. F. Refusal of Counsel
When a member divorces a spouse in violation of the Scriptures, or remarries without seeking the counsel or following the guidance of the pastor or the membership care committee, the committee shall review the case and recommend appropriate action to the local board of administration. Corrective action shall include removal from leadership, and may include suspension, or expulsion from membership.
THEREFORE BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED
That paragraph 5650 on Divorce and Remarriage be revised as follows (additions in red, deletions as marked):
A ministerial clergy member of a conference who divorces or is divorced by his/her spouse shall enter into the care of the ministerial education and guidance board which shall design for the member a process of healing and restoration as appropriate for the circumstances. That clergy member may not remarry while the former spouse lives until the ministerial education and guidance board determines that it is appropriate according to biblical guidelines in consultation with descriptors regarding the destruction of the marriage covenant and hardness of heart or irreversible conditions exist allowing for remarriage; and the assigned bishop and the conference superintendent review and confirm the determination. A minister clergy person who refuses to enter into such a process marries contrary to these guidelines shall not be reappointed by the annual conference. This provision shall also apply to a minister whose spouse has been divorced from a mate who still lives.
[BELOW IS THE MATERIAL AS IT NOW STANDS TO BE REPLACED WITH MATERIALS IN THE RESOLUTION]
C. Healing Troubled Marriages
The church which is alive to God has spiritual resources for marriages in trouble. The chief resources are the renewing power of the Holy Spirit and the Word, prayer and the sacraments, counsel and support. Through the church’s ministry, God can bring healing and reconciliation.
Therefore, if our members find their marriage in crisis, we encourage them to seek the counsel of their pastor and submit to the guidance of the church. Professional counsel may be necessary. We recognize that domestic violence, emotional and/ or physical, does occur in church-related families. It often jeopardizes the safety of a spouse or children and may threaten life itself. These family members need both spiritual and emotional healing (Malachi 2:13-16).
When after counsel with the pastor, it is deemed that destruction of the home is immanent or has already taken place, Christians may separate. In such cases, the way to reconciliation must be kept open (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). Even when a marriage is violated by sexual infidelity, the partners are encouraged to work for restoration of the union.
D. Divorce
When one marriage partner is a Christian and the other a nonbeliever, we believe that the Christian may not for that reason divorce the unchristian mate (1 Corinthians 7:12-13), because Christian love may redeem the unbeliever and unite the home in Christ (1 Corinthians 7:16).
When a marriage is violated by sexual infidelity, the partners are encouraged to work for restoration of the union. Where reconciliation is impossible, a divorce may be allowed (Matthew 5:32; 19:9).
Desertion is the abandoning of a marriage without just cause. We believe that a person denies the faith when he/she deserts a spouse deliberately and for an extended period of time. When the desertion leads subsequently to divorce, the deserted partner is no longer bound by the marriage (1 Corinthians 7:15).
Where reconciliation is impossible in a troubled marriage, we acknowledge that divorce may be unavoidable (Matthew 5:32; 19:9). When marriages break down completely, we recognize that, in the words of Jesus, “hardness of heart” is implicit on one or both sides of the union (Matthew 19:3-8; Mark 10:5-9).
Though the Scriptures allow divorce on the grounds of adultery (Matthew 5:32) and desertion (1 Corinthians 7:10-16), they do not mandate divorce and we advise counsel with church leaders to seek other alternatives. One of these may be for both to live celibately.
E. Recovery After Divorce
Divorce always produces trauma. It is the breaking of a covenant, thus violating God’s intention for faithfulness in marriage (Malachi 2:13-16). For this reason divorced persons should be helped to understand and remedy the causes for the divorce. They should seek pastoral counsel. Professional counsel may also be necessary. If unhealthy patterns of relating exist, the marriage partners must be helped to replace them with new attitudes and behaviors that are Christ-like (Colossians 3:1-15). Repentance and forgiveness are crucial to recovery. The goals of the process are personal healing and restoration to wholesome participation within the church. The church must extend its concern to family and others affected by the divorce.
F. Remarriage After a Divorce
A divorced member or one who is considering marriage to a divorced person must come under the authority, counsel and guidance of the church.
Persons who have been involved in divorce while in a state of unbelief shall not for that reason alone be barred from becoming members, even though they remarry. Similarly, believers are not prohibited from marrying a person who was divorced while an unbeliever. A member of the church divorced from an adulterous spouse or deserted by an unbelieving mate, after attempts at forgiveness and reconciliation have been rejected, may remarry (Matthew 5:31-32; 19:3-11; 1 Corinthians 7:15).
Does the resolution have a direct relationship to the vision and mission of the Free Methodist Church?
Yes.
How will the proposed change help us accomplish our vision and mission?
The Resolutions Committee rates this resolution as:
(A) Support – recommend adoption
Comments:
Download the supporting paper here.
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